Website Promotion for the Desperate
A lot of people are curious on how to get more hits to their website and a lot of people have also given suggestions. However, I noticed that most, if not all, of the suggestions given usually take sometime before yielding results. As a result, a blog post for those who are desperate for hits.
- Write your site’s URL on every piece of cash you own. Remember, money travels quickly.
- Create a heavily-animated button and plug it in every single plugboard there is. Make sure you use bright colors so it would immediately catch the viewer’s eye.
- Offer a lot of
unoriginalcreative things for your visitors. PSDs, brushes, scans and Photoshop Actions should get you are a couple of the things you should have. Don’t forget unsafe PHP scripts too!Visitors would simply come running to your site! - Join the weborexia phenomenon. I’m sure someone will link you up in no time!
- Join comment exchange communities such as Despair
and don’t bother commenting on your link assignments. What matters is that someone comments on you. - Send an angry email to 1337 people stating that they’re hated by everyone else in the world because they think they’re so cool and that they own the interwebz. I would recommend Jem because more often than not, she’ll link you in her next blog post. Wouldn’t you like that?
If you don’t like to mail Jem, consider someone from Snark. Remember, there’s an e-Drama board in there. 
- Sign a lot of tagboards and guestbooks. They’re always a good bet.
- Get affiliated with a hundreds of people. Don’t even bother knowing them. Acquaintance is for dorks.
- Adore Swimchick and Outspoken Kate. Defend them to those who claim that their website is crap. If possible, befriend them too.
- Always remember: IE > everything.
P.S: This was inspired by Jem’s article about promoting one’s site (see, I followed step 10 :P).
April 30th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
See, I read #1 and thought that this was going to be a [b]serious[/b] list!
I might just ignore all the rest of the points and do the first…
April 30th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Just write a negative post about webmaster/webmistress. Make sure you have many links to said webmaster and go on a clicking frenzy XP
Oh and for good measure send the webmaster and e-mail/comment on a tagboard,/blog post telling them about it. Just in case they might have missed the referrals
I still can’t believe I had an e-drama blog post which reached over 100 comments (ok, so mine were there too… but still.. 100).
April 30th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Lol. I’m going to deliberately ignore any malicious emails now for the next 6 months just to ruin your theory
April 30th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Hmm, I don’t like the idea of creating drama unnecessarily just for a bit of exposure. I’d rather have modest fame than tremendous imfamy.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:01 am
lmao I’m creating a blog and your post totally made my day, rule #1 seems pretty good though, cause like once i went to this site that i found on a business card. All the Business card said was “YouFoundTheCard.com” But lol I work as a cashier and that’s a lot of money to put my site on plus I don’t think the costumers would love me writing on their cash XD
May 1st, 2008 at 6:23 am
LOL.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:15 am
*Takes out all cash from wallet and starts scribbling site name on them*
Oh wait, I rarely ever use my money. I guess I gotta start spending more!
I was actually thinking the same thing as Amanda…until I got to #2
May 1st, 2008 at 10:15 am
I thought exactly like Amanda and believed this to be true. Maybe I’ll do the money thing after all. It sounds cool.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
As silly as this post was, I’m considering the money idea.
You know, as an experiment. I don’t know if I’ll actually go through with it. Those dollar bills might fall into the hands of some people that I’d never want to visit my site in a million years.
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 am
About two or three years ago, I actually considered doing #1 and a spinoff of #1 - writing my web address everywhere, not just on money: Napkins at restaurants, flyers, phone books, bathroom stalls, etc. I think I shall try it again - maybe even blog about it?
Thanks for the idea!
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:35 am
=)
I thought this was serious, until I read on.
May 4th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Psssh, ah yes. I hate it when fuckers on Despair don’t bother to do THEIR own commenting assignments. I feel like shovin my foot up their ass and my fist down their throats!!
May 4th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
ROFLMAO XD
May 5th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
LOL, brilliant post. I love #1, I’m so going to try that